One of the most captivating things aboutThe Far Sideis its characters, which range from being delightfully absurd to downright disturbing. Anyone who knows anything about Gary Larson’s iconic strip knows that it’s full of comedic and identifiable stock characters such as cows, nerds, and even the occasional dinosaur.
But every once in a while,The Far Sidewouldintroduce a character or two that, while funny, was exactly the kind of character no one would want to meet in a real-life scenario. Sometimes it’s a doctor who just doesn’t take their medical oath seriously enough. Other times it’s a mischievous pair of animals or monsters.The Far Sideeven wentas far as having cold-blooded killers as the punchline of a gag. Whether they’re creeps, jerks, or actual killers, read on to discover10 characters fromThe Far Sideone would never want to meet in real life.
10Cruel Doctors
Publication Date: June 30th, 1984
One would hope that all doctors stand by the Hippocratic Oath and do no harm, but harm is a relative term in thisFar Sidestrip. Larson plays with the idea of laughter being the best medicine, but instead of making the patient laugh, the doctors all stand around, laughing and pointing at the poor patient. While this gaggle of quacks aren’t the worst charactersinThe Far Side, one would hate to ever be their patient. Imagine just what other kinds of treatment these docs would provide if they seriously think mockery is a suitable alternative to medicine.
9Dentist Sadist
Publication Date: May 30th, 1988
Let’s be honest. Absolutely no one likes going to the dentist. And nothing’s worse than a dentist who gets a kick out of tormenting patients already racked with nerves. In thisFar Sidestrip, a patient is lying back with his mouth open and waiting for his check-up to begin. But the dentist has other plans as he wants to see if he can cram a tennis ball into his patient’s mouth. There are bad doctors, then there’s just plain insane ones. Even in the offbeat world of theFar Side, no one would want to be this dentist’s patient.
8Woods Monster
Publication Date: May 6th, 1980
There’s always something unsettling about being in the woods and not knowing what’s lurking around the corner.The Far Sideplays with this idea and showcases two campers simply trying to roast a couple of weenies on the campfire. While they express relief that the crickets have stopped chirping, there’s something worse nearby: a tree-sized, furry monster with claws. While there’s nothing that says the monster is vicious or predatory, its giant size and fearsome claws would have anyone running for the hills.Monsters pop up frequently inThe Far Side, and this is one no one wants to cross.
7Dog and Cat
Publication Date: May 27th, 1988
Gary Larson loved anthropomorphizing animals inThe Far Side. However, more often than not, he’d give them humanity’s worst qualities for the sake of humor. In this case, this strip shows off a cat and a dog plotting against one another. The dog brushes up on how to skin a cat and the cat similarly reads a book arguing for the euthanasia of all dogs. While their animosity seems limited to one another, would anyone actually want to take care of either animal? After all, how long until they turn that negative attention towards humanity and plot even worse things?
6Duck Pair
Publication Date: August 20th, 1981
Barnyard animals are always more than meets the eye inThe Far Side. For this strip, Larson has a couple of ducks encountering an old woman. But instead of trying to coax bread or some other cartoon-y staple from her, they team up like a pair of velociraptors to take her down. One gets her attention at the bottom of a flight of stairs while the other sneaks up and boots her, sending her tumbling down. Whether they’re pranksters or actively trying to kill the elderly, no one would ever want to get on the bad side of this fowl pair.
5Monsters
Publication Date: January 10th, 1988
As mentioned earlier,Larson would often use monsters inThe Far Side, and much like the rest of his usual offbeat characters, he’d find new and creative ways to look at them. In this strip, a monster is sitting down for breakfast when he realizes he’s late for work. His job, however, is to be the classic ‘monster in the closet’ and he’s got to get a move on to terrorize little Billy Harrison. It’s terrifying to think that not only are the things that go bump in the night real, they’ve got a full life like everyone else.
4Jimzfixxy
Publication Date: January 10th, 1980
The Far Sidecould always get a laugh out of taking common childhood ritualsand completely flipping them on their head. For this strip, Larson utilizes the time-killer of burning ants with a magnifying glass. Only in this instance, it’s not a kid burning ants, but an alien named Jimzfixxy burning igloos in the arctic before his mother begins to chastise him for messing with the locals. This flipped perspective shows just how cruel that kind of ritual is, and it makes one hope that Jimzfixxy doesn’t come back to Earth to continue his deranged experiments on people as well.
3Cartoon Killer
Publication Date: May 18th, 1988
The Far Sidewas never afraid to take shots at other cartoons every once in a while, but this is beyond the pale. Here, a man brings a date back to his home, and the woman is shocked to discover his morbid trophy collection. The man has apparently killed, stuffed, andmounted iconic cartoon characters like Rocky and Bullwinkle, Woody Woodpecker, and even Garfield. Sure, he justifies it by saying they’re “only cartoon animals”. But let’s face it, would anyone want to really ever meet the kind of lunatic who could kill something as iconic as Bugs Bunny?
2Simmons
Publication Date: November 30th, 1990
While not uncommon, it’s always a bit of a shock to see active shooters inThe Far Side. Larson does attempt to mitigate such a disturbing sight with some clever wordplay in this strip, which takes place at a marble company. Hearing that disgruntled worker Simmons has ‘lost his marbles’, the boss, Mr. Wagner emerges from his office and is implied to be gunned down by Simmons. The gallows humor is indeed funny, but Simmons is disturbingly real. The world has enough gun violencewithout people needing to worry about running into a monster like thisFar Sidenut.
1Psycho Clown
Publication Date: June 10th, 1991
The Far Sidecould get scarily real every once in a while, even when the scenario was just plain absurd. For this strip, a clown (in full makeup) goes to purchase a gun and, thanks to his thought bubble, the readers can tell that he’s buying this out of a vengeful impulse. Of course, it’s humorous that a clown would want to take action over being laughed at, but the last thing anyone would ever want is to be a target because of some perceived slight.It’s a funnyFar Sidestrip, but one that’s quite chilling.
