Dating can be awkward, messy, and occasionally the stuff of horror stories, but if Gary Larson’sThe Far Sidetaught us anything, it’s that no matter how bad your own love life gets, it could always be far, far worse. Larson’s bizarre single-panel world is packed with romantic misfires that make bad first dates and ghosted text threads look tame.
We’re talking clowns with questionable pickup lines, cavemen with prehistoric flirting skills, and blind dates that should have stayed blind. Somehow, his offbeat humor turns even the most catastrophic dating blunder into a punchline. So grab your popcorn becausetheseFar Side comics will make you feel better about any failed date you’ve ever experienced.
10What’s the Worst She Could Say?
The Woes (& Danger) of Prehistoric Dating
We’re often told that the worst someone could say is“no”when it comes to asking them out on a date, and while that may be true in our world, it certainly isn’t the worst rejection someone might receive inThe Far Side. In fact, the worst that could happen is that she could eat you if she doesn’t like your attempts at courtship.
Larson’s cavemen trope brings absurd humorto the dating scene as one caveman warns the recurring Thag Simmons to tread carefully when courting the cavewoman who has caught his eye. If she doesn’t like his style, she might very well make a meal of him. Luckily, this is one pitfall we don’t have to navigate in the real world… hopefully.
9Step One: Find the Lips
First Kiss Nerves Aren’t Exclusive to Humans
If there is one thing most of us can relate to, it’s the desire to be a good kisser and the nerves that come with kissing someone for the first time. While there may be many unknowns in that moment, most of us at least know where our partner’s lips are. Larson proves that’snot always the case for flies.
In an absurd bout of humor, Larson imagines what a date looks like for flies about to share a goodnight kiss. This fly isn’t just nervous about his kiss, but outright confused as he wonders exactly which part of the other fly’s anatomy her lips are. So while some of us may have questionable first kisses, at least we knew where our partner’s lips were.
8When They Find Out You Have Worms
Even Dogs Have Their Embarrassing Secrets
When it comes to dating, many of us can relate to having an embarrassing secret or two that we’d rather not share with a partner in the early stages. The same is true fordogs in the Larson Universe, where one dog’s unfortunate case of worms comes to light far earlier than he’s ready to reveal that tidbit of information.
Here, two dogs are pictured in a car, supposedly on a date, when the driver has to hit the brakes, causing the glove compartment to pop open and reveal a pill bottle of“Worm Away.”It’s quite the way to learn your partner has worms, making for an understandably awkward situation that seems destined to bring their time together to an uncomfortable close.
7I Think We Should See Our Own Species
Human and Porcupine Relationships Are Going to Be a Hard Pass for Us
Larson depicts the end of a relationship in this strip, showing a woman on a date with a porcupine and breaking things off. While most of us could think of several reasons to end this romance, the wounds on her face make it clear that kissing a pin-cushion-like creature just isn’t practical.
Our dating advice tothisFar Sidecharacter? Stick to dating your own species, something that really shouldn’t need to be said aloud. Thankfully, this is one dating blunder the rest of us will never face. While it’s sometimes smart to widen the dating pool, this character should definitely think about narrowing hers.
6What’s Worse Than a Giant Pimple? A Giant Worm!
This Apple Makes Our First Date Blemish Problems Look Like Nothing
Most of us have been the victim of Murphy’s Law, where we finally land a date only for a blemish to appear right before the big night. It’s frustrating and embarrassing, and it can shake one’s confidence. Still, as bad as a zit is, at least we don’t have worms bursting out of our faces.
Larson pushes dating blunders to new extremes by imagining two apples on a date. Unfortunately, the male apple faces an embarrassing moment when a large worm emerges from his forehead. Here, Larson plays on the classic worm-in-an-apple cliché, turning it into a clever dating punchline.
What’s the Worst Excuse You’ve Ever Given to Avoid a Date?
Making up excuses to avoid unwanted dates (and being on the receiving end) is a common part of dating life. Sometimes it’s painfully obvious someone is just making things up. Thankfully, most people come up with better rejection lines than the two brutally transparentcharacters inThe Far Side.
One woman says,“Oh, I’m sorry, Bob, I have to wash my hair tonight,”which is admittedly a weak excuse. But the second lady delivers an even worse one: “Oh, I’m sorry, Ted, but tonight I have to write my favorite detergent company and tell them how much I love their product.”Let’s take a moment of silence for Bob and Ted’s bruised egos.
4Sorry, I Don’t Pie on the First Date
The Wacky World of Dating Clowns
Modern dating slang often includes the warning not to date“a clown.”While it’s not meant literally, it refers to immature partners who play games instead of being serious. However, inThe Far Side,dating a clown is taken literally, complete with its own unique set of awkward pitfalls.
In one comic, a clown woman opens the door to find her date ready to pie her in the face. She responds,“Hold it right there, Charles! … Not on our first date, you don’t!”This joke twists the classic“I don’t kiss on the first date”line into a clown-specific warning, making it relatable despite the absurdity.
3Even theFar Side’sSheep Have Dating Woes of Their Own
Many of us have experienced a bad shave before a first date, whether it’s going overboard, accidentally cutting ourselves and leaving bloody tissue behind, or dealing with razor burn.But Larson makes these mishaps look mildcompared to a freshly shorn sheep going on a date, where the results are, to say the least, quite lackluster.
Gone is the sheep’s wool that probably attracted his paramour in the first place. Now he’s scrawny, pink, and covered in cuts marking his body, creating a less-than-ideal look. We can’t help but feel for the poor sheep, and maybe some men can relate after a less-than-perfect beard shave.
2Today’s Dating Scene Is BRUTAL
In today’s era of technology, many people find partners through apps like Tinder. Most users have some dating horror stories involving seemingly nice strangers who initially hold promise but turn out quite different from what they imagined. Older generations can relate too, recalling similar experiences from Craigslist meetups and other early online dating platforms.
Even though it’s easier than ever to meet new people through apps and websites, the dating scene can feel more brutal than ever before. Still, we should be thankful we aren’t spiders, as Larson humorously points out in this strip, where black widow males often end up getting eaten after mating, which is definitely a rough outcome for any date.
1The Far Side’sMost Brutal ‘Meet-Cute’
The Florida Man Meme Meets Gary Larson’sFar Side
Topping the list is an interaction anyone in the dating scene would find horrific and an instant deal-breaker. Here, a man and woman cross paths in a ‘meet-cute’ where the man’s pet alligator is eating the woman’s poor pup. She’s aghast while he believes this is a perfect way to meet someone.
Some people can be tone-deaf in social situations, butthisFar Sidecharactertakes it to another level, proving himself delusional about his chances with the woman. Luckily, most of us won’t face this kind ofFar Sidemeet-cute, unless you live in Florida, where the odds might be higher than you’d like.
